I am not usually an early morning Slicer.
I woke up at the crack of crack and couldn’t get back to sleep. Too many thoughts ambling through my head, stopping for a moment, announcing their presence, and then moving on to re-appear at a more appropriate time of the day.
My husband labeled a religion change he has been contemplating for years, Catholic no more. Agnostic. Just writing the word, examining the feel of it, the sound of it, like a stranger I am forced to get to know. Wondering what event was the one to set this change in motion. Wondering what chain reaction this decision will cause. One of my favorite sayings is, “If nothing changes, nothing changes.” I assume the reverse is also true, but with what consequences? So there’s that.
The anniversary of my dad’s death is tomorrow. While it was 16 years ago, not a day goes by that his words or actions don’t visit me, even if I don’t acknowledge its origin. His integrity, his love of thinking, his dedication to educating, his commitment to family, his sense of humor, his philosophical “scotch talks”, his religious influence, his shared love of sports, his gentle reassurances. This day always places a special sadness in my heart as I wish for more moments and memories with him. Lucky for the ones I had. So there’s that.
Today is St. Patrick’s Day! What to do! What to wear! How to celebrate! So there’s that!
My spring break is drawing to a close. Sigh. All the work I brought home to catch up on sits untouched in my bag. Which of these assignments can wait a little longer, and which ones must I tackle in the few remaining hours? Responsibility crosses the path of desire. Desire has triumphed thus for this week; now it’s time to face a different kind of music. So there’s that?
What time is it? Why can’t I go back to sleep? Should I just get up? So there’s this.
Writing All In 
So much truth here, especially the responsibility vs. desire. I’m so sorry about your dad. The anniversary of my dad’s death is this month too. 26 years. Time doesn’t seem to make it easier, just less frequently painful. I hope you can rest and care for yiraelf today.
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I’ve had nights like that – we all had – everything swirling in our heads. Love that you turned your insomnia into a slice. Once you get it written down, sometimes it’s easier to put it aside and get some rest. Hope that was the case for you!
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This says it: “Responsibility crosses the path of desire.” You also create a unifying structure with there’s that/there’s this. Almost like the twist of a sonnet.
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Some nights sleeps ends early. I find if I can’t get back to sleep, to not fight it.
–like you did here. Get up and write, get up and paint. Lie in bed and meditate.
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